Cat Rules 101: Unauthorized Bed Making

Under no condition should a human make an unauthorized or solo attempt at the dangerous activity of bed making.

The changing of sheets is a highly perilous undertaking and should never be attempted unless sanctioned and directly supervised by a Licensed Feline Sheet Inspector.

The LFSI may require the human to make many ventures at sheet disbursement and application, critically gauging air density, fabric weight and electromagnetic resonance with skillful claw manipulations until they deem it is safe to risk finalizing the operation – before sealing the bed – and the world’s fate – with the blanket, comforter and pillows.

Please note LFSIs are highly trained and require complete cooperation to insure compliance with their rigorous code. This is for the safety and well-being of all living creatures and may potentially prevent global warming and the melting of the polar ice caps.

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