That’s fine, I can hear the mocking laughter of you married people out there. “8 months dating! How cute! 8 months is a cake walk! A cake walk with kittens and puppies and pony rides!” I imagine you going on and on, in that incredibly smug and smarmy way you married people do sometimes, when you talk to us un-married people. “Anybody can make it 8 months,” you say. “Try (insert-the-length-of-your-marriage-here) years!”
Well, congratulations. I’m sure my gift was simply lost in the mail and should arrive any day.
So if you’re done now, can we can move along and talk about me and how freakin’ excited I was about our
anniversary (okay, whatev) monthiversary? I can’t remember when I last dated anyone for that long, much less, the last time I’ve been as incredibly happy as I’ve been during this 8 months with David.
So yes, 8 months IS a big deal.
Unfortunately, the actual day of our monthiversary David ended up working late to wrap up some post-production, and we weren’t able to spend any time together. I didn’t get to see him until after work on Friday, when I came to his house and he promptly went to great (and suspicious) lengths to lure me to the front porch. I know, skepticism is unattractive and I should be more trusting. I’ll add that to the list of things I need to work on.
And there, on the doorstep, was a Flying Pig!
He bought me a Flying Pig for our monthiversary! The most beautiful Flying Pig, which I immediately named Garibaldi.
This, of course, is the best monthiversary present. Ever. In the whole history of monthiversaries even. Because, if you know me, as David so obviously does, you are aware that:
a) a red metal Flying Pig named Garibaldi simply RADIATES delightfully quirky cuteness, much as I like to think radiates from myself on better days, so is therefore totally ME
b) I have a huge writer crush on the Bloggess, Jenny Lawson, who recently wrote in one of the best blog posts in the whole history of blog posts even, of purchasing a 5-foot metal chicken named Beyoncé as an (ahem) anniversary present for her husband, Victor;
had you spent 5-7 days a week with me every week since I read that blog (as poor David has) you would be clearly and painfully aware (as it would have been brought up at EVERY AVAILABLE opportunity) that the appropriate anniversary gift for “15 YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS“…
…so then logically the best gift for someone to get their farm-animal-art obsessed girlfriend to celebrate 8 months together could be…
… aluminum aerial swine!
I know! He’s so awesome! But no, you can’t have him. He’s mine.
Er…ah…Garibaldi, that is.
Kidding! I mean David.
Both mine. All mine.