Crickets.

We are visiting my parents this weekend in Chelsea, Alabama and I ended up going to the store with my husband and my dad to pick up some stuff my mom needed. My father, who is left-handed, noticed that the guy in front of him at the register was writing out a check with his left hand (you never see checks at a grocery store anymore in Atlanta.)

My dad addressed the guy jovially: “So, us left-handers will take over the world someday, won’t we!?!”

The guy smiled and said, “You know, I think you’re right. It’s kinda funny you mention, but I actually work at a very small company, and all ten of us employees are left-handed.”

I said, “Ohmigod, that’s kinda sinister.

 

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Have you ever had a joke or story fall completely flat?

A brief letter to my cat, Brodie.

And while I’m catching up on correspondence, a long-overdue letter to my youngest cat:

Dearest Detective Inspector Ferguson,
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First, let me say thank you for your dedication and hard work in leading our home’s security team.  It is admirable how you personally inspect Every.Single.Container that enters our dwelling. No potato chip bag is too small, no fragile gift too beautifully wrapped, no container of food too clearly designated as my dinner to escape your trained powers of observation and mandatory physical evaluation.

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In fact, you police the entire house with a zeal that is over and beyond the call of feline duty.  I’m quite positive you have single-paw-edly prevented a multitude of multinational mishaps due to your extreme diligence.

If, and only if, I might share but one small thing; miniscule in the greater threat of global terrorism, yet something that strikes at the very core of my being.

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Toilet paper is not the enemy.

I still love you with all of my heart. Wait, whatareyou….that’s not… !!!! Waitstopnoooooo….

Mom

P.S. Thank you, Daily Prompt, “Literate for a Day” for the inspiration.

A thank you note to the lady in the gas station bathroom

Dear lady in the plaid shirt in the truck stop bathroom in Eufala, Alabama;

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Thank you for reaching over to my sink from your side of the counter and turning on my faucet for me.

I realize my somewhat frenzied hand waving in front of the taps may have led you to assume I was having a breakdown or perhaps trying to land an imaginary plane.

You had no way of knowing that I work in a place where everything in the bathrooms is automated and in order to get soap/water/paper towels you have to make a gesture within the motion-sensor range of the dispenser.

I’m sure I would have eventually figured it out, but you were there and took direct action. Bless your kind and helpful heart.

I’m sure we have given each other a good story.

One more thing I hate about time change…

I was woken yesterday in the icy and ungodly darkness of 5:00 a.m. by a very tiny, very cold, slightly moist jab in someplace that was warm, happy and otherwise sound asleep.

This assault was followed, of course, by a very weak, very plaintive, quavering meow.

The Very Hairy Wake Up Fairy, a.k.a. Detective Inspector Ferguson, the Fuzzball, Brodie Stop that Right Now!

The Very Hairy Wake Up Fairy, a.k.a. Detective Inspector Ferguson, the Fuzzball, Brodiestopthatrightnow!

It appears that while I took the time on Sunday to adjust the clocks on the microwave, oven and coffee pot by one hour, I neglected to set the cat back.

In a rare, purely Supervisory Roll, Captain Keegan, Director of the Committee for Prompt Breakfast Service observes from the foot of the bed.

In a Rare, Purely Supervisory Role, Captain Keegan, Director of the Committee for Prompt Breakfast Service, observes from the foot of the bed.

And yes, you can quote me…

My writing inspiration today is drawn from a list of blog prompts put together by the lovely Rarasaur and kindly shared by Fish of Gold.

“Start with a quote that represents how you want to live your life– explain it.”

I find it fascinating that one of my all time favorite quotes is from someone famous for not speaking, silent-film actress Mary Pickford.

“You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.”

This is such an amazing and powerful set of words and they have been so true in my life that I want to tattoo them on the back of my hand or somewhere else I will never lose them, somewhere I can see them every single time some rogue day gets the jump on me and beats me into a stupor.

It reminds me not to give up on myself.

It reminds me of other wonderful words, these from the German philosopher Goethe.

“Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.”

It’s a Dead Man’s Party

I was struck by lighting, walkin’ down the street

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I was hit by something last night in my sleep
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It’s a dead man’s party, who could ask for more

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Everybody’s comin’, leave your body at the door

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Leave your body and soul at the door

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Don’t run away it’s only me

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Only me, only me

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I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go

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Walkin’ with a dead man, with a dead man

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Waitin’ for an invitation to arrive
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Walkin’ with a dead man, with a dead man…

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lyrics courtesy of Oingo Boingo
Songwriters
ELFMAN
Published by
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

November Begins:Tiny Peppers, Another Swat at the Novel and Dia de Los Muertos Festivities.

2014-11-01 15.32.09_resizedIt’s a little spooky that last night was Hallowe’en and it’s already November 1st.

Hallowe’en was always such a big deal to me in my past: as a bartender and bar owner, the holiday glittered with a stream of boozy parties and sexy costumes stretching over at least a week’s time. 2014-11-01 15.30.59_resized

Thanksgiving and Christmas being such “family” holidays, Hallowe’en was the last big-kid crazy dress up party until New Year’s Eve rolled around; December 31st’s less alluring and amateur debauchery segueing into the bleak abstinence of holiday-free January and Christmas credit card bills. Whoopin’ it up on Hallowe’en was the real “ring out the old year” and the glamor, fun and participating party peeps made it the highlight of my season.

Now that I’m all old and married (a relatively recent state for both), Hallowe’en has shifted a bit – struggling to find its place in my new life.

Last year's Steampunk costume

Last year’s Steampunk costume

I will forever love dolling up in costumes, but David hates nightclub events and honestly, I’m a bit tired of them-I’ve certainly had my share. Thank goodness one of my best friends, Laura, hosts a fabulous Halloween house party every year with a large group of very pleasant creative types in our age range who actually enjoy dressing up, so we’ve still managed to incorporate a little (mildly) boozy soiree and some (slightly more age-appropriate) sexy costumes.

This year the party is tonight, November 1st, so she’s rocking a Dia de los Muertos theme. Stay tuned for deets and pics tomorrow – we’re getting ready right now and I’m as giddy as a little kid – must be the ghost of Halloween past!

Today also starts a month-long commitment to writing.

I’ve somewhat foolishly (really, me, foolish?) signed up for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) and the most fun of all, Nano Poblano, a special bloggers’ support group for NaBloPoMo participants.

I struggled through and failed to complete NaNoWriMo last year, but I struggled through (and completed) NaBloPoMo last year. I may not have written anything ground breaking – the novel certainly languished with no love, but I was thrilled to survive at least one writing challenge. This year I’m going to dust off the book (hee!) one more time and see what happens, but if anything, I’m going to work the hardest at a blog post every day, because I. CAN. DO. IT.

Most of all, I’m really looking forward to meeting a bunch of new people this year and reading some wonderful stuff. Thanks, guys, so much for including me in Nano Pobleno. I’ll pepper you all with the same support and encouragement.

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Dammit! Our Uber driver is here and I’ve got to run. Happy Dia de los Muertos, NaBloPoMo, Nano Poblano, NaNoWriMo and oh yeah, Happy Movember November to you all!

NaBloPoMo Day 29: Let there be light

This week’s photo challenge on WordPress: in a new post created for this challenge, share a photo that captures a light source.

We’re enjoying a relaxing and lovely family vacation up in the North Georgia mountains.

It’s been amazing sleeping in with no agenda or schedule, reading a book curled up before a roaring fire or just sitting in front of the huge picture windows: drinking in the rich blue heavens, sunlight sparkling on the lakes below us, color saturating sunrises and sunsets in bands of jewel-toned strata.

Such a blessing to spend time with our parents; cooking, eating and drinking, catching up and swapping stories and watching old movies late into the night.

It’s so hard to break away to write, so I’ll accept the photo challenge and share instead a glimpse into our light-dazzled mountain views.

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NaBloPoMo Day 26: Liar, Liar

Yesterday, I posted a blog with 5 truths and 1 lie. As promised, here are the facts vs. fiction.

(It was surprisingly difficult to come up with the lie. I’d like to think it’s because I’m a bad liar but most likely, I’m just sleep deficit.)

1. I once swam with dolphins.

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This is true. When I was a senior in high school, I was enrolled in a program that allowed us to pick a year-long study project. I picked “Cetacean Learning and Behavioral Patterns,” which sounds pretty grandiose coming from a 17-year old, especially one with little proclivity towards the sciences. My teacher, Mrs. Collins, was awesome and arranged for me to visit a theme park and work with the dolphin trainers for a few days. It was the highlight of my entire teenage experience and was for many years, a very unique story, until all the Florida and Caribbean resorts added a “Swim with the Dolphins” feature and people ceased to be so impressed.

2. I was born and grew up in Mobile, Alabama where I attended an all-girls high school.

Here, as Rarasaur says, “therein, lies the lie.” I actually was born in Birmingham, Alabama; although I did grow up in Mobile and I did attend the Julius T. Wright College Preparatory School for Young Ladies, which failed in almost every way to make me a lady, young or otherwise.

As I’m reading this, I realize that this was the absolute lamest of lies. Really? Oooh, I lied about the actual city in Alabama where I was born. It’s Alabama, does it matter? Mata Hari, you appear safe from me. My pathetic excuse is that I’m having a rough week at work and my brain was refusing to function creatively.

3. I interviewed Joe Satriani for an on-line magazine.

Again, truth. Years ago, I was briefly the content editor for an on-line magazine called HipCity.net, which sounds pretty grandiose, especially for a publication with a subscriber base of about 17 people. Our music reporter was scheduled to interview Joe, but she ate a bad sandwich and was tossing cookies so severely she had to cancel. They sent me instead, which totally ticked her off, as she felt I was musically “illiterate.” She also didn’t like my hair (but that was a separate issue.) I had to do some last-minute scrambling to research pertinent questions (I was pretty musically illiterate at the time – however, my hair was quite stylish.) Joe was incredibly kind and patient and we ended up having a wonderful chat about how much we both loved Star Trek.

4. I am seriously allergic to Jumping Jack Cheese Doritos.

Truth! Linda guessed it! The first time I ever ate them was at a Christmas party while I was in college. I woke up the next morning with my eyes swollen shut and my whole body covered in angry red hives. It was also the first time I’d ever even seen an allergic reaction, much less had one. I remember calling my mom, sobbing hysterically, because I had no idea what was wrong with me and I thought I was dying. The dermatologist misdiagnosed it as a reaction to a new perfume, so about a month later; while on a road trip to D.C. I ate another bag of JJC Doritos (Damn them! They are tasty evil!) and promptly welted up all over again. They were never able to figure out which magical ingredient was the culprit, since unofficial tests revealed I’m fine with Sour Cream Ranch Doritos and even Cheetos. I tend to avoid crispy snack foods as a rule now, not to tempt fate.

5. mtvI was an intern for MTV during college.

‘Tis true. I was the University of Georgia college campus representative for MTV my junior year. It was a pretty cool experience – I worked with their marketing department to produce events on campus, like a dance-off and a Remote Control audition, and got to fly up to New York and hang with Kurt Loder and Colin Quinn. They actually offered me a job, but I still had some classes to finish up to graduate and the starting salary was too dismal to really be tempting.

6. The first concert I ever went to was Cher.

I’ll give props to Priceless Joy. I was with my parents. I was so itty-bitty so I have no memory of the experience and it was so long ago, Cher actually may have still been Mrs. Bono.

So there’s my truths and lies. Thank you for playing along! I’d look forward to reading your stories.